One of the best movies of all time

I'm not exaggerating when I say the The Big Lebowski, is by far, one of the best movies of all time. I shit you not, and if you dont believe me, you either haven't seen it, or you just have one enormous bug up your ass. Seriously, if you cant find humor in the story to The Dude, then you probably dont need to take part in the human civilization anymore.

Ok, so maybe that is a little harsh, but the flick is actually an amazing piece of art. The story is technically based on a true story... well, more like a true character. The Dude, the main character of the story, takes the viewer on an epic odyssey that inter-weave a web of characters who are equally as dynamic as the Dude, his dudeness, el duderino if you aren't into the whole brevity thing.

The main issue that drives the entire story is a soiled rug. That is right, a soiled rug that was urinated on by a china-man(improper nomenclature I know, but I'm quoting lines) who mistaking take the Dude for a Mr. Lebowski. When it turns out that the Dude's real name is Jeffery Lebowski, you immediate know that this film is going to take it's viewers on a ride with many twists and turns in the plot. Much like an older style detective or P.I. flick, the Dude goes through intense labours and ends up solving the mystery behind why people were chasing him down for money owed by a pornstar trophy wife who belonged to a supposedly wealthy Mr. Jeffery Lebowski.

One of the greatest things about this film is it's supporting cast of excellent actor including John Goodman as a Vietnam Vet. stuck in his war time psyche, Juillian Moore as a Feminist Poet/Artist and the one Lebowski with money, Steve Buschemi, John Tuturro and even Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Each and every character, is just that, a character, and they are all so much fun to get to know. There is never a dull moment of the movie and it is an extremely clever comedy.

If you are ever in the need of a serious drinking game, pop that bad boy in and press play. Then pick either word:Fuck or Dude. After you have chosen your selected word, or if you are truly bold, picking both, watch the Big Lebowski and take a drink with each use of the word. I guarantee that even the biggest drinker will be out after 45 mins. Have fun everybody.

more poetry...

sorry, but the thing is, I am in an Advanced Creative Writing Poetry Workshop... so this is where much of my writing is coming from...


Watering my Garden

It comes at four in the morning, too.
The rodent wheels
in my mind spinning.
Flashbacks of the best sex,
shared showers, and hours spent
wrapped up in each other.

Of course.

It grips at my stomach
Chan-nel-lock blue tight
and wrenches.

Sleep is impossible.
Flipping around in bed
like a landlocked fish,
uncomfortable,
In a cold sweat.
This struggling cant seem to throw
thoughts of past encounters
and conquest of the opposite sex.

Then the questioning begins,
Why am I still here? It’s not
what it used to be.
Excuses tug at my hair,
pointing my wandering eye
in another direction.

As my heart drops
at yet another lapse in faithfulness, I sit up
and decide to start my day early.

The garden will get watered at 5:20 today.

One Epic Battle

Over the weekend, as I sat in my backyard patio, enjoying my potted plants, my eyes wandered to the ever-over-growing pair of fan palms getting slightly out of hand underneath the amazing shade of my giant mesquite tree. They hadn't been trimmed since my father and mother came out in spring sometime, and they were in desperate need of a hack job. And so I spent the next hour and a half trimming my fan until you could underneath them. It was gorgeous, if I do say so myself.
But this little adventure in the morning heat of 108*, led to yet an even great battle that would ensue feet above the ground of my back yard. Again, my eyes wandered, but this time, their direction was straight up. I happened to notice some dead branches of mesquite wood on top of my tree, and soon after further inspection, I had come to the realization that my mesquite tree had come under the power of the Arizona monsoon.
Oh yea, a branch about 4 inches in diameter split and folded down into thick twigs and had begun to dry. And this was about 20 feet up in the air. Any one who knows me, can tell you I'm kinda the wuss for heights, but I wasn't about to back down. No way, this was my yard and I controlled its inhabitants. So I geared up with my corona hand saw and yard long corona loppers(which ended up being fairly useless against such dense wood), and climbed the tree. Not going to lie, leaning up against a branch with your feet on separate footings, and holding on to another branch your attempting to hack off, gets kinda hairy at that height.
I spent about another hour and a half just bringing down the dead part of the Mesquite tree, but after being up there for so long, I have come up with a new coif for this tree, and it is just a matter of time before the second stage of operation mesquite overhaul begins clipping away at the tree. It's Monday now and I have been spending much of the morning breaking down this dead wood into either clippings I could squeeze in our weekly trash bin, or into nice sized logs I could use for an eventual fire. I really look forward to this fire/possible BBQ as I know just how amazing this wood is! Because it is so dense, it burns longer and hotter, and for those grill masters out there... it adds that distinct mesquite flavor.

Art Museum Response

This is a response to a piece of art work, entitled Paradise, by Philip Curtis. In was in the dreams/imagination section of the ASU Art Museum...

One Father’s Nightmare
After Philip Curtis’ Paradise

A well to do man watches
over the meager audience he gathered
with the anxious anticipation
of a house dog waiting for his owner’s return.
His eyes, a black hole
of failure, matching

the lackluster day. Sad
orange colors drench his scene,
leafless trees form a stage
for a miniature circus.

As for the audience, his family,
they are occupied more
than they are entertained.
The wife and two children follow
the miniature horse with a dwarf
on top, the parrot, the cat and the gaunt
clown, but never acknowledging
The father.

The man worked hard to make
enough to produce this day’s spectacle.

His family turn their backs
on a father who has lost the point.

I <3 Command and Conquor

It's true, I am a huge fan, sort of a geek, for Command and Conquer. The only thing holding me back from being a full fledged Command and Conquer nerd, is I still quit before I ever get beat by only two hard enemies. So my record(that's saved in the computer) is still flawless. I find that sexy, if having a spotless unbeaten record that's a total lie can be sexy.
I think it is all the control and commandability that the game offers to it's player. They ability to raise you own army/military/terrorist organization is just so all empowering. I feel so modern day Napoleon-esque. I can conquer all these sorry other people how ever I chose. Even when I pick the random selection scenario, and I am given a situation without knowing what I am really logging into, I still dominate and can choose from a number of ways to execute the final coup de gras. If I want to shock and awe some poor pathetic terrorist organization, I'll send multiple Particle Cannon Laser attacks matched with a fleet of A-10 attack Warthogs. If I want to display my air superiority, then I construct an Air Force that bombs the opposing sides base to high hell!
And not to sound unpatriotic, but it is kinda fun to take on the Chinese military and stick it to those fucking arrogant sons-of-bitches, America! They just stroll around thinking that they have all this technology and training and blah blah blah. I over power them with my tank divisions and incredibly overmanned infantry which overwhelms opposing armies like a colony of ants taking over a melting Popsicle in the desert heat! Believe that, and they are just so reckless with their nuclear weapons, that I just make the other literally glow.
But the biggest slap in America's face, is when I am force to dole out a nice ass whoopin' to China and America with the G.L.A. terrorist group. I do all my shit all secretive and just make paper(money) left and right and raise up a supremely powerful and overtly sick and sinister group of war-criminals who don't take any prisoners.
So sometimes, when writing just isn't doing it for me, I'll sit down for a good hour and a half, do battle with a worthy adversary, and get out some pent up aggression. It's like when a jogger says "oh I go running to clear my mind" or "relieve tension"... I sit at a computer and annihilate opposing armies one at a time...

A Soft Spot for Spurs

Whoa now, before you go on and on about how there is no way I could ever be a Spurs fan when I claim to support the Lakers. You would be right, being a Los Angeles Laker fan, it would be like spitting on the grave of the legendary Chick Hearn, if I was to say I had a soft spot for the San Antonio Club, but I didn't. I despise that old, crappy, fundamental, un-entertaining garbage that comes out of their lame Alamo Dome, or whatever that call it. But check the dateline son, NORTH LONDON, Tottenham Hotspurs.
With that business sorted out, I must confess, that when it comes to watching the incredibly exciting English Premiere League, I secretly wear Tottenham's white and blue during the season. I began following Tottenham about two seasons ago, and aside from the entertaining free-flowing style of play, I kinda felt for the grunt ogre looking character of a coach in Martin Jol. They finished in to top half of the table that season, I think. But the next season started off miserably. Jol couldn't jumpstart the team it seamed like, and if they did managed to score, and score in numbers, well, so did the other side. So Jol was let go of pretty early in the season, and was to be replaced by the magical Juande Ramos(Spain), who immediately led the team to an exciting Carling Cup Victory over their other London Rival Chelsea.
The rest of the season was pretty indifferent in the sense that the team really didn't go anywhere. They showed sparks in numerous games with high scoring fixtures, but the end results often were barely getting a point from the match. Either way, the Hotspurs were on their way to Europe with an automatic bid into the UEFA Cup by securing their Carling Cup victory earlier that season.
It is the middle of summer, and after an amazing European Championships held earlier this summer, Tottenham fans got to witness one of their many new signings really showcase his skills for his national squad, Croatia. Luka Madric, midfield, commanded and distributed the ball with tremendous talent and ability all tournament long. Just missing a final penalty kicks in one of Croatia's last games will hopefully just seem to be a fluke, as many Spurs fans cringed watching. Overall, the player looked promising, especially for his size. I say if Lionel Messi can do it, Madric can hang, although he is kinda gangley looking himself, where as boy wonder Messi doesn't look too bad.
Since the Euro's, Tottenham has delved into the transfer market and it seems that they have the hands and offers on the table for just about every major player you could think would be or could be making a move or transfer this season. From Barcelona, Spain, to Italy, France, and back into the Premiership with the likes of Blackburn Rovers and Chelsea FC, Tottenham's office really does have their hands in tons of offers. My question is, how are they funding all these transfer bids and will the fan be affected by possible ticket hikes? Is Tottenham expecting funds for the release of players like Robbie Keane and Dmitar Berbitov? How is Juande Ramos going to fare at the beginning of this season with so much tinkering around with his squad of players? Can Tottenham make a move in to a slot of the Big Four? I hope.
COME ON YOU SPURS!!!!

My trip to the Mall the other day...

Let me begin by stating this, I do not frequent the mall. I am a grown-ass man (well maybe that's going a bit far but roll with me), and my days a chillin' at the old mall are over.
With that said, I had to go to the Chandler Mall this past week, to buy some new underwear. And the said product is not cheap. You can barely find a pair of boxers for under $10. I dont even wear underwear that ofter, but think about how much you have spent in your lifetime on underwear alone (not including dipers, although I guess that is a valid argument). Really is a frightening thought. It's not like you get that much fun out of your underwear. Even if it's sexy panties or some sex crazed underwear, it always ends up on the floor... at least in my case. But I digress.
So I was on a mission in the mall, I was not loitering around like the rest of the teenage crowd there. But I noticed immediately as you walk into the shopping center, you are just bombarded by a zillion different sweet smelling perfumes, and fruit flavored body washes sprayed in excess upon little boys and especially the little girls. Every five steps was another scent and when you walked passed a group of these little teenage girls with earphone in, connected to their fav emotional band that they just freaking love, its like walking past Bath and Body works! A dog would go crazy in a situation like this, unless properly trained(guide dogs and see eye dogs and even police trained dogs, kudos to those skilled pouches).
I had to sit down at one point because my headache had grown in to a full blown migraine from all the various scents. I think I named about nine of them, but after I mixed up Burrbery Brit with Daisy by Mark Jacobs, I just couldn't handle it any more. So I sat for a few minutes, collected my senses and made my mad dash outta that place and back to my house that smells like the Chicken parmigiana I made last night. I really feel for those hapless souls who have to work there.
word.

Rangers FC pre-season woes...

Today, I am writing about my team, my boys in blue, the Glasgow Rangers. First, to begin with, Rangers are coming off a hellishly long last season where the team played over 70 fixtures. The Rangers had to chased a unprecedented three trophies (SPL title, Scottish Cup and UEFA Cup), in one season. Although the 'Gers only finished with two, and just nearly lost the SPL titles to a controversial end of the season, finishing runner-up to their age old rivals, Celtic.
The Glasgow Rangers start this season buying two new forwards to add to their strike force(Verlika, Lafferty), as well as beefing up their already iron clad defense. But the biggest problem that will trouble the 'Gers going into this season, is they are incredibly over-run with injuries and recoveries of injured players. Their new striker, Lafferty out with a ankle injury as well as the captain, Barry Ferguson. The American, DaMarcus Beasley (DMB) out with a hamstring. The defense recently receive some blows to their armor by losing the Spanish national, Carlos Ceullar. They also lost their anchor in David Weir, who regrettably is showing their age, but he also is injured. The Rangers are starting the season with out at least five players from their core starting 11 from last season.
With all that said, all the younger boys and those who normally come off the bench will get their opportunity to show their stuff. They will need to in order to compete in Champions League play, as well as keeping up with their rivals who have made many new additions to bolster their squad. It seems Strachan realized they wont be able to bank on Rangers being so exhausted at the tail end of the season. We definitely added some depth to our squad to hopefully last through the long season ahead. We look a little discombobulated in form on the pitch, but mainly due to the lack in chemistry between new players and those who haven't played much before. But, I am hoping that with all these core players out for the start of the season, we should be able to finish strong and hopefully (fingers crossed, God, please read this!), finish with three different pieces of silverware this season!

COME ON YOU 'GERS!

just another poem

Making excuses for you

He wasn’t where he was supposed to be at 11:14 pm

We said goodnight at 9:15
and I wondered
why he was so tired

It was Saturday night
and 27 missed calls
tells me he isn’t sleeping
next to his phone on the charger

My stomach tightens
and twists me into contorted shapes
in my bed sheets

I visit the toilet
head first every 20 minutes.

Cinematic love scenes
starring her and my boyfriend
reel in my mind

Some other girl
clutching him close
scratching his back
leaving all the signs for me to tell

I call him
for the 28th time
in two hours

ready and willing to accept the lies
I’ve already made for him

One reason I dont like the MLS

The point of this point is simple, and direct. It will be one of many ongoing commentaries that I will bring to light for those who may be looking into following our national soccer league, or more correctly said, Major League Soccer. Let it be known that I am not against the MLS, but I do have many views that differ from the path that the league takes. But this rant will be on only one subject that I hold against the so-called highest level of competition that our country can present.
Recently, The SuperLiga tournament started, and one of the slogans or other names for the event around the CONCACAF region is the million dollar cup... as the winning team is awarded $1,000,000 in prize money. That is a great incentive for a team to try and compete to win that prize money for the club and it's players. And yes, if one of the four invited Mexican clubs wins the tourney, their actual club and players decide what to do with the awarded cash. For example, Pechuca (a Mexican side), won the tournament last year and after winning, decided, as a team, to give the prize money to charity. The figures of cash that each player would have recieved individually would have been around $25,000 US. That's not a bad figure to be playing for as an individual player on the pitch and it definately adds some incentive, or feul to the fire.
But then you take the case of if an American side(or Toronto FC, no disrespect) were to win the tournament. You see, if an MLS team was to win the tournament, the awarded money would have to go through the MLS office first, with the top executives surely dabble their dirty little paws before giving it to the team with strict regulation on dispursement... I.E. the individual player would be looking at maybe reciving $1,500 US. Is there are problem here? I think the MLS needs to start paying their players what they deserve and what they truly earned. or tell me I am wrong?

Modern day slavery

OK, so I am way into football (not throwball... get it right, the real thing, where you actually use your feet), obviously. And I truly think the game is absolutely beautiful to watch and the players are often much more sporting then their showboating, dancing after a good play, point celebrating American counterparts. But here is a little beef I got with a select few footballers who head may have just gotten slightly too big.
A certain Cristiano Ronaldo of a very respectable Manchester United Football club has basically come out and said that his club(Manchester United) is treating him like a modern day slave because they were trying to hold on to him, rather than let him be transferred to a Spanish Club (Real Madrid... Castillian giants in Spain). And from hearing that, you may think, well, shucks, the kid wants to play elsewhere. He is no longer happy at the club and may want a change of scenery, or maybe he wants to be closer to his home country, Portugal. You may here this and feel bad for this football phenom in his early twenties with his great years ahead of him.
But let me remind you of this people. This kid is on an over 120,000 pounds a week salary and is getting bonus income from his resume of corporate sponsor and marketing rights. The kid is the star of one of the most recognizable clubs in all of football and has won multiple trophies, and titles with his manager, Sir Alex Ferguson.
Let's not go in to the life off the pitch where he shaggs all the finest birds, in fact, steals the girlfirends of other well known footballers (see Sergio Ramos of Real Madrid, who is speculated to be a part of the transfer along with an estimated 60+million pounds... rediculous, yet interesting). This kid lives in the lap of London luxury and probably doesn't have to worry about ever not having the money for the next meal. Meanwhile, you have millions of people across the world starving and/or working for next to nothing just to try and survive to their next meager check. How fair is it for this sports star to be claiming he is a modern slave?
Think about this the next time you see Cristiano Ronaldo don whatever jersey he may put on.
When he scores a goal or sends in a perfectly executed cross that results in a goal and he recieves some rediculous bonus for a job he should be doing anyways as a paid professional footballer. I wish he would look at others at his level and greater, and take a lesson in their modesty or just lack of flaunting their incredible wealth, or maybe just stop bitching...
cause if I were in his boots, I would call my self a lot of things, but slave is not one of them.
Or maybe, Cristiano Ronaldo may think about trading in his slave position for the one I find my self in, a student. Maybe he would like to be thousands of dollars in debt to school loans and be banking on a piece of paper from a University that says you can go make money now.
my two pence on the C. Ronaldo transfer issue.

writer's block

So I'm a little stuck. Call it writer's block
or whatever, but this sucks. I couldn't write
a poem right now, even if my life
depended on it.

God forbid, some sneaky Russian
held me at gunpoint
from behind and forced me to write
a ghazal
or have my brains splattered
on the paper in front of me.

It's tough to try and be a Writer.
Like actually try, and say
hey, I'm going to be a Writer.
It's like suddenly
there is nothing to write about.

My life is uninteresting
and my new boring life
has nothing worth writing about
except the terribly dull subject
of being unable to write.